Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Where I Am

So what is the matter with this world? Why is it so darkened by the clouds of uncertainty and animosity? Once in a while these ideas surpass our vision and we feel alone in a dungeon made by ourselves, aloof from eternity. What is within is outside of you, it reflects back. In some time it becomes a matter of pride and one wishes to just run away far into the wilderness. But it never vanishes, for it’s a part of you and not the universe.
My mornings are all planned and it consists of lot of running, first to the garden and then to the office. This morning too I boarded a Metro and as usual I was listening to the music. As the train stopped at one station and another Metro standing on the opposite side waved to it in a nice gentle hullo pressing its brakes, I saw my face in the Glass door. The glass door looked all neat and polished but my face had little scars and the eye sockets had grooves in it. Its’ all conspired by time. I have started to look older from the last time I had this close inspection. I pulled up my hair and saw patches of grass being removed from the surface and now it looked all skinny and shiny.
As new thoughts came and tortured me, I also figured out the years I have lived. Am I really happy with the way things have shapen up and the silence reverberated inside of me. I had made many friends, I had met a lot of people and surely I must’ve had encountered million of events but one thing that has never dissipated out of me is the curiosity to meet new ones. The oldies retire like good tweed. People have to grow old, get married, have kids, get busy afterwards and then die finally, leaving a void in our lives at each stage. Every time an old buddy creates a void, you gotta find a new one to move on, whether a pet, a friend, new relationship, reviving an old one.
It was starting to rain as I looked outside of glass door and then eventually at my own face. I had started to see new dreams, build new hopes again. The web of life has started expanding itself again and now it’s engulfing all sorts of felicity and light in the sphere of knowledge and the dirty dancing of cravings, underneath desires play. It sort of rebounded back as to how far am I from these strange dreams of mine. There was this guy who told me once “You will always regret for the things you haven’t done than for the ones you did”.
And so it all ends up to where we are and what we do? The answer is where we are supposed to be.

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